I want to dedicate this to my husband. To the man I devote my time, strength, determination of wanting to do better.
I know things have been hard on us. I know we about lost most of our stuff. But there is one thing that is precious that we have and that is each other. I miss the way you would laugh. The sound of it was music to my ears. I miss on how you use to make me laugh so hard that it hurt. I remember that time you held me because I cried watching "Fox and the Hound" on the part where the old lady put Todd in the woods. I remember on how you smiled and had this positive attitude. Remember that time that we both laid out in the sun? Oh! How precious are those memories and I'm glad I am able to make them with you. I know it is hard to smile, and I know it is harder to laugh, but you always told me to "think positive baby". Man, what I would do to make you happy again. Maybe one day I can and will. Maybe one day I will be able to be your personal 'Avenger'. And if there is one thing I miss most is you being the strong one. You taught me so much on how to be strong. You showed me loved, and brought me in a world in it when I thought everyone didn't. I can tell you these last 3 years have flew by. Most of all, they are more precious than any gold,silver, or diamonds. Thanks to you, I love holidays. I just want to be able to make you smile again. I promise I will do that. I love you my sweetheart.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Can I please press rewind
I know there is a point in our life that we probably all want to rewind something in our life. Too bad there isn't a remote control that comes with us when we are born. It is really bad to have those kind of thoughts. It is amazing on how this blog started. I started making it in 2011 and never actually got to writing a post. Well, now we got one, or should I say, this blog has one. It is no longer naked.
I know these last 3 to 4 months have been a big burden. When I mean big, I mean big. First me and my family get a house. (Yay!) But not two days later, my husband lost his job. We were firm believers that God was going to get us out of this hole. Life doesn't come without suffering. Then probably not even 3 weeks later I about lost my husband due very low blood sugar, which is his type 1 diabetic. Then after we left the hospital, we lost our house, had to go live with my parents.
When I lived when my in laws prior to this incident I didn't smoke. I quit. I was a smoke free person and thought people that smoked were nasty, but guess what. (You bet!) I went back to it. Boy I am ashamed. I remember telling my husband last night or prior that I would probably quit all these bad habits if I had a job or career going for me. I felt bad saying it. My husband, Nathan, thought no one would hire him. Then it hit me, this wonderful little memory:
It was 2011, October, before I was married, living with my soon to be in-laws, my husband went to an interview at Converse College. Needless to say he didn't get the job. I remember his parents went on some kind of cruise of that sort, don't exactly remember. I remember I was still waiting on that settlement money I was suppose to get when I got in that car wreck. Well a couple more weeks went by which making it November ,another company called my husband up and he went for the interview that day and got the job. Then my check come in. When my husband came home I told him, I don't think I ever seen him so happy in life. Things were looking up for us. We had people backing us up, helping us out, but one important thing was missing: God.
When I got back to those moments I sort of feel ashamed because I didn't really thank God. IT is funny that most people don't praise him in there finest, greatest, moments. I am going to start doing so. I know 2011 was a strange year. I worked in babysitting. I remember my husband telling me to quit because of the stress, so I did. Then not two weeks later I had another job at Mills Family Diner and met some amazing people. After I lost my job there, going for another job, Nathan and I were in a crash. But Good come out of this. There are times were I want to start at that point again but one thing flairs in my mind: "Would you go through that hardship again?"
I probably would because I was around people that were positive. I was around people that loved me. Now don't get me wrong I had my ups and downs, but I have to say those were the happiest moments in my life. I learned how to do alterations, stamping, and making cards. (Which I miss doing!) I remember doing freelancing, which was fun, but draining. But I don't know why I am so fond of those memories and want them to come back so bad, I guess because I had some positive influence in my life. It felt good. It felt grand. I was apart of something. There are moments were I would give anything to have those peaceful days again.
But, guess my father in law was correct, take your time and get yourself together and don't rush. I remember crying some after moving out of there the first time. I don't know why. I guess I should of took things more slow.
In that same year I got to meet my soon to be sister in law. Boy! She is a busy lady. She has a blessed life. I know everyone goes through struggles, but I know my ending of struggle has got to be near. I think if I kept a track record on it then maybe when things are better I can always come back for some reference notes.
Remember, when things get going hard, pray. Sounds stupid. But when it is hardest to pray, do it, that is when it is best. After all this time, God has never left me. Hope you all have a very blessed day.
I know these last 3 to 4 months have been a big burden. When I mean big, I mean big. First me and my family get a house. (Yay!) But not two days later, my husband lost his job. We were firm believers that God was going to get us out of this hole. Life doesn't come without suffering. Then probably not even 3 weeks later I about lost my husband due very low blood sugar, which is his type 1 diabetic. Then after we left the hospital, we lost our house, had to go live with my parents.
When I lived when my in laws prior to this incident I didn't smoke. I quit. I was a smoke free person and thought people that smoked were nasty, but guess what. (You bet!) I went back to it. Boy I am ashamed. I remember telling my husband last night or prior that I would probably quit all these bad habits if I had a job or career going for me. I felt bad saying it. My husband, Nathan, thought no one would hire him. Then it hit me, this wonderful little memory:
It was 2011, October, before I was married, living with my soon to be in-laws, my husband went to an interview at Converse College. Needless to say he didn't get the job. I remember his parents went on some kind of cruise of that sort, don't exactly remember. I remember I was still waiting on that settlement money I was suppose to get when I got in that car wreck. Well a couple more weeks went by which making it November ,another company called my husband up and he went for the interview that day and got the job. Then my check come in. When my husband came home I told him, I don't think I ever seen him so happy in life. Things were looking up for us. We had people backing us up, helping us out, but one important thing was missing: God.
When I got back to those moments I sort of feel ashamed because I didn't really thank God. IT is funny that most people don't praise him in there finest, greatest, moments. I am going to start doing so. I know 2011 was a strange year. I worked in babysitting. I remember my husband telling me to quit because of the stress, so I did. Then not two weeks later I had another job at Mills Family Diner and met some amazing people. After I lost my job there, going for another job, Nathan and I were in a crash. But Good come out of this. There are times were I want to start at that point again but one thing flairs in my mind: "Would you go through that hardship again?"
I probably would because I was around people that were positive. I was around people that loved me. Now don't get me wrong I had my ups and downs, but I have to say those were the happiest moments in my life. I learned how to do alterations, stamping, and making cards. (Which I miss doing!) I remember doing freelancing, which was fun, but draining. But I don't know why I am so fond of those memories and want them to come back so bad, I guess because I had some positive influence in my life. It felt good. It felt grand. I was apart of something. There are moments were I would give anything to have those peaceful days again.
But, guess my father in law was correct, take your time and get yourself together and don't rush. I remember crying some after moving out of there the first time. I don't know why. I guess I should of took things more slow.
In that same year I got to meet my soon to be sister in law. Boy! She is a busy lady. She has a blessed life. I know everyone goes through struggles, but I know my ending of struggle has got to be near. I think if I kept a track record on it then maybe when things are better I can always come back for some reference notes.
Remember, when things get going hard, pray. Sounds stupid. But when it is hardest to pray, do it, that is when it is best. After all this time, God has never left me. Hope you all have a very blessed day.
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